Bahman, For The Sake Of “Love” Let Them Torment Us More

Following is a post from Zhilla Baniyaghoub’s blog written to her imprisoned husband journalist Bahman Ahmadi Amouei

Bahman, For The Sake Of “Love” Let Them Torment Us More

My dear Bahman,

May 22 was your birthday and I celebrated your birthday without you in our small home. Of course I was not alone, our dear friends didn’t let me be alone. And how so many friends across the world went thru so much trouble to show that they have not forgotten you and your imprisoned friends. Their great show of support made you not being here with me more tolerable.

I am still deprived of in-person visits with you. Even on your birthday they didn’t allow me to sit across from you without that tarnished glass window and telephone wires that separate us. I wanted to sit across from you and hold your hands and tell you “Happy birthday my darling”.

I knew that it wouldn’t have any effect, but still I did call the Prosecutor’s office several times last week. I don’t understand why, when human beings are certain that the answer is going to be negative, they still insist on making the request. Is it because I am so naive?

In my despair I called Tehran Prosecutor’s office many times last week and requested to see you in person. I told them that I have been deprived of an in-person visit for 10 months. I asked them to at least allow me a visit on your birthday.

Sitting behind the glass window, when you heard me tell you this, you got upset. You said, “Weren’t you supposed to not make any more requests of them? Didn’t you know their answer was going to be negative? Didn’t you know?”

I bowed my head and said, I knew, but…but…I have missed you. It’s been almost a year that I have only seen you from behind these glass windows that are not even clean. Just think…almost a year that I haven’t been able for even a second…..even a second to embrace you and hold your hands and squeeze them.

Again, you firmly said, “I miss you too, but please don’t ask them for anything, especially when you know their answer is going to be negative.”

You said, “That’s exactly what the interrogators want, it makes them happy to see you tormented. You have to prepare yourself that even these cabin visits may be taken away from us, you have to remain strong.”

I replied that I know they are happy to see us suffer. This is the reason they have imprisoned you, to make us suffer. I will try to be strong. It’s not important to me that they see our love as a weakness. Our love is our strength.

For the sake of our “love” let them torment us more, but my darling the result of all these suffering in the past 2 years has only been one thing: Our love has grown.

You smiled and said, “And of course my love for you.”

I placed my hands on the glass window and you placed your hands on the opposite side as though touching my hands. I tried to absorb the warmth of your strong hands from the other side of the glass. And than, I sent you a kiss. You asked, “Was this my birthday present?”

My darling, more than ever I am proud of your patience and more than ever I love you. Happy Birthday.

Source: Zhilla Baniyaghoub’s blog

P.S. Journalist Bahman Ahmadi Amouee was arrested on June 20, 2009 is currently serving a 5 year mandatory prison term in Evin prison, Tehran.


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