There are no clocks on the wall,
There is no time.
There are no shadows moving on the floor of the cell from dawn to dusk.
There is neither light nor darkness and there is no door.
After 32 months of not writing on my Blog, I have come today, on the day that they say is the Penmanship Day, to pick up a pen and write, and to say that I am feeling fine, because my mother’s face gleams with happiness, and she doesn’t cry anymore and the nervous tic in her eyes have subside.
My brother’s back pain has gotten better, and he is laughing again. My father is not agitated or upset anymore. He holds his back straight and holds his head up high.
My sisters, instead of crying are laughing, and they embrace and kiss me now.
I don’t look at my young nephew from behind bars anymore. His wish of hugging his uncle has been fulfilled now.
My friends are all happy, and I have nothing to say for all the kindness and affection that they display.
I still can’t comprehend why, when strangers see me, they want to embrace me, or why they are happy, or why they cry?
I am still entangled with these feelings, I don’t know if I should cry or smile? Be happy or sad?
I no longer hear my friends’ choked voices or their cries. They are all happy now.
What has happened that things have changed? In two days time, what other miracle, except for the miracle of freedom can change things around so much?
I don’t know, now that I am out, I feel shameful towards those that are still in prison with health issues. I must say, I feel a pain………
With all this pain and misery, I must say, I want to have a life and make lives possible.
I don’t know, I really don’t know! Perhaps it’s because I still can not believe what has happened and still can not comprehend the depth of the calamity that has occurred.
Regardless of all these, but, don’t you believe them!
Post script: I was taken by surprise, they had a birthday party for me at 1:00 AM. I was so happy to see Aref Darvish had also been released.
I was excited because the birthday gift they were giving me was poetry book by Ahmad Shamlou.
Note: The beginning poem is by Langston Hughes, translated into Farsi by poet Ahmad Shamlou
Source: Hossein Ronaghi’s Blog